Signs of Abuse
The following are signs commonly associated with abuse. This list is not intended to be comprehensive and the presence of these signs does not guarantee that abuse has occurred:
- Comes to school early and stays late
- Fear of adults
- Are overly compliant, passive, withdrawn
- Very aggressive, destructive
- Frequent absences or tardiness from school
- Suicide attempts or self-harm behaviors
- Major changes in mood or behavior
1. Neglect; Neglect is the act of leaving a child without appropriate supervision and in a situation where the child is exposed to a substantial risk of harm and/or not meeting the needs of the child such as food, clothing, shelter, education or medical treatment. Definition taken from Arkansas Code, § 12-18-103.
Signs may include:
- Constantly hungry
- Consistent lack of personal hygiene or tattered clothing
- Very small or thin for their age
- Begging or stealing food
- Emaciated
- Lack of supervision for extended periods
- Often tired or falling asleep during the day
- Appears lonely and has a desperate need for attention
- Need for glasses, dental work, or other medical needs not being addressed.
2. Physical Abuse; Physical abuse is defined as injury or threat of injury to the child by the child’s caregiver. This includes an injury that is at variance with the explanation given and excludes injuries sustained from a reasonable accident or appropriate discipline. This can also include failure to protect the child from injury reasonably. Definition taken from Arkansas Code, § 12-18-103.
Signs may include:
- Unexplained bruises; bruises of different ages; bruises where the explanation doesn’t match what you see
- Cigarette burns; patterned burns (like an iron); burns that cover an entire foot or hand
- Unexplained broken bones
- Runs away
- Wears concealing clothes
3. Sexual Abuse; Sexual abuse is sexual conduct including, but not limited to indecency with a minor, sexual assault, encouraging a minor to engage in sexual conduct, photographing, filming, or depicting the child in an obscene or pornographic manner or permitting the making of the content. It also includes the failure to make reasonable efforts to prevent such abuse. Definition taken from Arkansas Code, § 12-18-103.
Signs may include:
- Advanced sexual knowledge for their age or inappropriate sex play
- Excessive masturbation or seductiveness
- Age-regressive behaviors (sucking thumb, bed-wetting…)
- Difficulty walking or sitting
- Torn or bloody underwear
- Bruises or bleeding of the genitalia or genital pain and itching
- Extreme fear of being left alone with adults
- Sexual victimization of other children
Grooming Behaviors
The way a perpetrator builds a trusting relationship with a child is considered grooming. This makes it very difficult for the child to escape the abuse or tell anyone about the abuse. The child often feels loyal to their abuser and will blame themselves for the abuse. Power and authority are often used as a form of manipulation.
Signs of grooming:
- Giving the child gifts/money
- Finding ways to spend one-on-one time with the child
- Showing favoritism to the child over other children
- Watching the child undress or bathe
- Showing the child pornography
- Excessive “appropriate” touching
- Talking about sexual activities with the child
How to Protect
Talk to your child
- Be calm and do not try to scare your child; Use a neutral tone that empowers. Make sure your child knows that you will always be there for them and that they can tell you anything.
- Teach your child that parts of their body are private and that no one should see or touch them there.
- Use anatomically correct (penis, vagina, etc.) names for body parts to normalize talk in your home about private parts. Do not give pets or nicknames to body parts.
Ask Questions
- Watch for changes in your child’s behavior. Ask simple, open-ended questions like “Has anyone ever made you feel scared or uncomfortable? Has anyone ever asked you to keep a secret?”
- Help them identify safe people they can talk to if anyone makes them uncomfortable.
Know the policies and practices where your child spends time
- Minimize opportunity by eliminating or reducing one-on-one situations between a child and an adult.
- Ensure that the organization does background checks on staff and volunteers.
- Confirm that policies are in place to ban adults from being alone with your child and away from others.
- Require all staff to be trained annually on child safety and mandated reporting.
Child Abuse is a complex problem and these are only a few tips on how to prevent abuse, for more in-depth information and discussion, take the Darkness to Light-Stewards of Children training and check out the links below:
How to Respond
If a child discloses something concerning to you, it can be hard to know what to say or how to respond. Your reaction is extremely important, so here are a few tips to help.
- You must remain calm and accept what the child is saying. Make sure they feel supported and safe.
- You may feel anger, disgust, frustration, or sadness but it is important to keep those feelings to yourself so you can be fully present for the child. Don’t be afraid of saying the “wrong” thing; the important thing to is listen and respond in a supportive manner.
- Encourage the child that they have done the right thing by telling an adult that it is not their fault. Don’t interrupt the child or ask questions until the child is finished.
- Limit your questions to What happened? When did it happen? Where did it happen? Who did it? And How do you know them?
- Tell the child that you have to tell someone to keep them safe. Contact the Arkansas Child Abuse Hotline at 844-SAVE-A-CHILD
- Do not interrogate the child or attempt to conduct a full interview/investigation. Report your concerns and let the appropriate agencies investigate.
- Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
- Having a child disclose abuse can be traumatic for you. Make sure you seek support and take care of yourself.
- Child Abuse is a complex problem and these are only a few tips on how to respond, for more in-depth information and discussion, take the Darkness to Light-Stewards of Children training and check out the following links:
https://www.childhelp.org/story-resource-center/handling-child-abuse-disclosures/
https://calio.org/images/adolescent-disclosure-sexual-abuse-fact-sheet.pdf
Statistics
Did you know
1 in 10 children will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18.
Child abuse is growing at 10 times the rate of cancer.
Before a girl comes forward her perpetrator may have victimized 20 other children.
Before a boy comes forward his perpetrator may have victimized 120 other children.
Only 10% of abused children ever tell anyone.
1 in 3 child victims will eventually victimize someone else.
95% of child abuse victims know their perpetrator.
Serial child molesters may have over 400 victims in their lifetime.
1 out of 4 teenage girls will contract an STD.
For more statistics, check out the National Children’s Alliance.
Child Abuse Is:
19 times more common than children with intellectual disabilities
30 times more common than autism
75 times more common than childhood cancer
Books, Articles and Websites
NetSmartz is a Program of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) that provides free tip sheets, lesson plans, and other safety resources as well as videos for kids and teens that explore cyberbullying, online exploitation, and more. Their Blog features child safety experts’ take on today’s tech, threats, and more.
Center for Effective Parenting provides free handouts for families that focus on age-appropriate issues related to parenting.
Empowering Parents is a company dedicated to empowering parents with the tools to manage the most challenging behavior problems in children ages 5 to 25. Offers expert articles, parent blogs, parenting programs, and many other resources on effective parenting techniques and ways to help change a child’s behavior.
Darkness to Light: A child sexual abuse prevention resources and programs that raise awareness of the prevalence and consequences of child sexual abuse by educating adults about the steps they can take to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse.
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) - The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization; offers free, confidential phone and online hotlines for victims (past and present) as well as resources for statistics and other related information for sexual violence. 800-656-HOPE